Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's blow job season.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
