____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize