And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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