So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
