Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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