wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
