I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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