It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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