if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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