i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
