That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
