This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
