And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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