i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
