Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
