So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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