everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
