my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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