listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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