Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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