How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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