I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Randomize
