i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
