Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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