He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
