We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
