it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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