I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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