I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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