Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
