i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
