Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
