She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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