Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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