I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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