even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize