"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
