I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
