Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
