Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
