Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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