I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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