The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
