we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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