This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize