Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
