therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
