once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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