You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
