I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
