So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
