IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
