We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
