If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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