some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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