Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
