its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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