'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm too high and old for this...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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