I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
