you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
