They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
