hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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