i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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