their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize