I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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