addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
