that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Randomize
